Building Safety

The photo below is one of the first where Amigo allowed me to be close to him. He walked up to me for the first time. You can see Amigo’s eyes are injured and he looks very thin and “rough”. The place I got him from was a for-profit “clearinghouse” where horses go just before they go to slaughter. If they are not sold for profit in 1 week, they go to slaughter.

You can see that in spite of his rough, abused state, his ears are up and forward in a desire to connect. This is one of the kindest, sweetest animals I have ever had the blessing to know.

Since I have no history on Amigo and do not know what his experiences have been, I must pay attention to what he tells me with compassion for his fears and responses, which are based on his prey instincts and experience. Our future rests on our ability to work through his fears and concerns with patience, compassion, and firm, forward, composed leadership.

The minute we establish a timeline, or even a goal we are in a hurry to meet with a horse, we force our timeline and will on a soul who has no concept of time, and whose survival instincts as a prey animal are to not proceed until they are sure they are safe and confident. The best thing we can do to facilitate our relationship is meet them where they are and not rush. This is great practice for "human" leadership!

Safety--trust, connection and confidence - is the foundation of whole leadership--leading with clarity, connection, and courage. The journey truly is the reward.

How do you build safety with your team?

#leadershipdevelopment #emotionalintelligence #icfcoach #experientiallearning #coaching, #leadershipcoaching, #executivecoaching, #executiveeducation, #leadership #teambuilding #selfawareness #relationship #EI, #EQ, #clarity #connection #courage #horses #equineassistedlearning #equineassistedcoaching, #training, #leadershiptraining #heart #gut #headheartgut #servantleadership #theteachinghorse

Progress and Leadership

In my year with sweet, curious, wary, beautiful Amigo, I have earned every ounce of trust he has given me. Giving Amigo a voice and a vote, and respecting his fears and wishes has allowed him to blossom, so he has shown more feistyness, playfulness, and opinion. He has an incredibly sweet, joyful, and intuitive personality!

As we build our partnership and establish boundaries, communication and understanding, we are slowly finding that incredible combination of softess, connection and precision to play together.

Today Amigo was so relaxed and completely responsive to my soft requests! He truely seemed to enjoy playing with me, and stayed with me when he had several opportunities to rejoin his herd. When we were done, he waited for me and joined me to walk to the gate together, whereas in the past he would run to the gate alone and wait to get out.

Days like this make it all worthwhile.

#leadershipdevelopment #emotionalintelligence #icfcoach #experientiallearning #coaching, #leadershipcoaching, #executivecoaching, #executiveeducation, #leadership #teambuilding #selfawareness #relationship #EI, #EQ, #clarity #connection #courage #horses #equineassistedlearning #equineassistedcoaching, #training, #leadershiptraining #heart #gut #headheartgut #servantleadership #theteachinghorse

Amigos

Since the beginning of our relationship, Amigo has been far more attached to his horse friends than humans. He was hard to catch at first, and seemed constantly afraid of being punished. He is very bright, intuitive, and incredibly responsive - it appeared he was doing everything possible to avoid punishment and survive. I have had to soften and dial down all my cues.

My goal has been to have him relax with me, and feel heard and respected. It has been so rewarding to see him step into his power and learn to express his needs and opinions.

Amigo is always looking to escape to his pasture, yet once there, he is never in a hurry to leave me. In spite of my novice mistakes I think Amigo knows I love him and I am doing my best.

Today I turned Amigo out and then went to work with Echo. For the first time, Amigo stood at the fence as we went by each way, and leaned in for a a connection as I was leaving. Such a beautiful gift!!! I am so grateful for the softness and patience this beautiful soul is teaching me.

"Amigo" describes it perfectly.

Happy Birthday Amigo!

One year ago I found Amigo. He was at a “kill pen” 5 days from being shipped to Mexico for slaughter.  Amigo was not the horse I had in mind. He was big, young, gaunt, dirty, and terrified. Yet he was also incredibly sweet, smart, with a desire to please and a solid foundation of good training.  It appeared he had been pushed hard, rarely rewarded, and suffered some serious trauma.  

From those auspicious beginnings, with a big leap of faith and the help of an excellent trainer, Amigo has turned out to be the perfect complement for Echo and I. He brings youthful energy, confidence, and big yet soft presence to our team. I am so grateful to have found him-I had clarity and trusted my expert trainer, the connection from the moment I met Amigo, and then the courage to take that big leap of faith. Now someone else’s throwaway reject is truly a diamond that I cherish and am grateful for every day.

Before Amigo had to chase acceptance to survive. Now he is valued, appreciated, and loved.  We have had similar journeys.  The struggles have made the success sweeter.  I have decided his “I found you” day would also be his birthday.

Happy Birthday Amigo!

I encourage you to go where you are valued, appreciated, and loved. Life is too short not to.

#performancereviews #servantleadership, #leadershipdevelopment #training, #leadership, #emotionalintelligence, #leadershiptraining, #equineassistedcoaching, #coaching, #leadershipcoaching, #executivecoaching, #executiveeducation, #teambuilding #selfawareness #relationship #EI, #EQ, #clarity #connection #courage #horses #icfcoach #experientiallearning

 

Progress

When Amigo arrived almost 1 year ago, even though he was thin and gaunt, he had a very muscled, developed chest and neck, and comparatively small, underdeveloped hindquarters.

The below photo is last week. With good balanced exercise his body has "boxed up" nicely, with a more evenly muscled front and hind physique. He likes to work, and will continue to develop more muscle and flexibility overall as we ramp up his exercise. #Horses

Horse Wisdom: Challenge Accepted

Amigo is not the small, steady, reliable, opinionated horse Echo is. Amigo is a large, energetic athlete who moves his feet when he is nervous. He is vulnerable and wary and remarkably intuitive. He is sensitive, curious, and incredibly responsive. He turns on a dime and anticipates my requests often. He likes to run, he likes to work, and he needs a job.

Amigo requires a stable, steady, courageous, and confident leader. I need to be firm, present, and quiet, especially when he gets nervous or spooks. I have come to believe this is why he was sent to me. The very things I as a leader need to work on are what Amigo needs.

What a way to learn leadership!!!!

After months of learning about and building trust with each other through grooming, grazing, healing, and practice of some basic exercises, we arrived at a natural time to ride. Amigo simply appeared to want to ride with me. To get on him felt like connecting in a new way with a dear friend.

It is remarkable how often we are sent exactly what we need to grow. When we are ready, things have a way of falling into place.

What challenges are you facing? What are they demanding? Use clarity, connection, and courage to overcome them. Trust and don’t rush the process.

You will be amazed at the results.

#leadershipdevelopment #training, #leadership, #EI, #EQ, #emotionalintelligence, #leadershiptraining, #selfawareness #coaching, #leadershipcoaching, #executivecoaching, #experientia #teambuilding #clarity #connection #courage #horses #icfcoach #leadershipdevelopment #experientiallearning

Rescue

Divorce is the number one cause of horses going to auction/slaughter/rescue, followed by owner death or financial hardship. Many amazing, healthy, well trained, talented horses like my Amigo end up in these places through no fault of their own. For any of you out there considering getting a horse, please consider rescuing with the help of a knowledgable trainer. An outstanding dear trainer friend who has rescued over 100 horses got me to Amigo 5 days before slaughter. He is a dream horse.

If you are seeking a horse, work with a reputable trainer who can help you find and select one that is structurally sound, sane, and healthy. You can google rescues near you and visit them. Lastly, you can PM me what you are looking for, where you are, and how best to reach you and I can forward the info to my friend who rescues horses all over the country and she will contact you if she thinks she can help. She is very honest and trustworthy, and matches people with rescue horses at no charge.
#horses #horserescue #rescueanimals

Horse Time

The photo below is one of the first where Amigo allowed me to be close to him. He walked up to me for the first time. You can see Amigo’s eyes are injured and he looks “rough”. The place I got him from was a for-profit “clearinghouse” where horses go just before they go to slaughter. If they are not sold for profit in 1 week, they go to slaughter.

You can see that in spite of his rough, abused state, his ears are up and forward in a desire to connect. This is one of the kindest, sweetest animals I have ever had the blessing to know.

Since I have no history on Amigo and do not know what his experiences have been, I must pay attention to what he tells me with compassion for his fears and responses, which are based on his prey instincts and experience. Our future rests on our ability to work through his fears and concerns with patience, compassion, and firm, forward, composed leadership.

I have chosen to invite Amigo to me rather than catching him. There are days when he simply does not come to me because he does not want to, and I honor his wishes. While some might say I am “letting him off the hook” and teaching him not to respect me as his leader, this helps me work on my goal to have a leadership style that inspires, attracts followership, and shows confidence combined with respect for my team’s needs and wishes.

The minute we establish a timeline, or even a goal we are in a hurry to meet with a horse, we force our timeline and will on a soul who has no concept of time, and whose survival instincts as a prey animal are to not proceed until they are sure they are safe and confident. The best thing we can do to facilitate our relationship is meet them where they are and not rush. This is great practice for "human" leadership!

Safety-Trust, connection and confidence— are the foundation of whole leadership--leading with clarity, connection, and courage. The journey truly is the reward.

How do you build safety with your team?

#leadershipdevelopment #teambuilding #experientiallearning #connection #clarity #courage #selfawareness #equineassistedcoaching #emotionalintelligence

The Saddle

With the help of excellent trainer Jen Manix, we tried a saddle on Amigo for the first time. He was a perfect gentleman as we put it on, and even when we tightened the girth, when many horses react, Amigo did not flinch. We led him through several exercises, which he performed with some anxiety, but overall I was encouraged by his obedience and behavior “under saddle.”

Unfortunately, for the next 10 days Amigo would not let me near him, and ran at the sight of the halter I carried to put on him. Amigo was clearly telling me he was not ready to be ridden yet. It took me about two weeks to coax him back to letting me touch him, then halter and work with him again.

Since then, we have concentrated on groundwork exercises to build his muscles and our connection, He appears to love liberty work, so we will build from there. We also go grazing, sometimes with Echo, to practice my two-horse handling skills, build trust, and get to know the area.

I hope to ride Amigo someday, and I trust he will inform me when the time is right. In the meantime,we build our relationship through engaging, helpful, positive experiences.

Our Herd: Building Connections and Trust

Amigo is doing so well! He is healthy, curious, intuitive, and very sweet. He has flourished since he was introduced to his herd, and he quickly built strong connections. Amigo clearly trusts horses more than humans. When I go to his pasture, his herd comes to me, but Amigo himself has been evasive and tentative. He appears puzzled that horses would deliberately choose to be with humans.

Building trust- with horses and humans - takes patience, empathy, and communication. Amigo reminds me to "meet him where he is." As we work through his fears, build his confidence, and enjoy our time together, he has steadily become more interested in joining me.

The importance of connection and building trust- just two of the many leadership lessons I get to practice thanks to my horse.

Enough: Christmas 2021

As I bring Amigo into the herd, I have worked to allocate enough attention to both Amigo and Echo. Parents may relate to this. As a second-born of four daughters, as a child I often felt the need to compete for attention from my parents. My father noticed this. 

One day he said to me:

I want you to know I will always have enough for you and your sisters.  I will always have enough patience, kindness, compassion, and love for each of you. It is a miracle from God.

May we all always have enough.

Blessings and peace this holiday season and beyond.

The Green-Eyed Monster

Echo's response to Amigo has been understated. Echo appears to regard Amigo as a third wheel he must tolerate. I have done my best to navigate Amigo's introduction while giving Echo plenty of 1:1 time, and they seem to be slowly building a friendship. The three of us have spent plenty of time grazing! Navigating the nuances of both of these relationships, as well as their relationship to each other, is a fascinating practice in integrating head, heart, and core. Patience, love, grace, and abandon co-exist, and acceptance, intuition and thought blend with love and emotion in a world that moves slower and in a language far different than any I have known before.

Impatience and Perspective

Since Amigo came off quarantine, we have built a strong friendship. He comes to me when I arrive and follows me everywhere, responding to my requests immediately with sweet, soft attention. He does his best to understand my requests, and I continue to learn his language. Our conversation is getting clearer and softer. Amigo is not the type of horse to "test" me or try to get away with more than a mouthful of hay. If he doesn't do as I ask, it is out of confusion, pain, or fear. As I have systematically introduced him to his new home, he has shown remarkable equanimity -- until we went inside the barn.

It was clear that Amigo is used to the outdoors, but it appeared he had never been in a barn before. He was so anxious he could not stand still. He couldn't let me clean his feet. Since we had succesfully done this outdoors before, I didn't understand his anxiousness in the barn. I continued to pressure him, at one point losing my temper. Eventually we were done, and he was so relieved as he followed me back to his pasture. Sweet Amigo stayed with me until I left, and walked along the fence with me until I was out of reach. Only later did I realize the pain and stress I had caused him.

I don't deserve the love and devotion Amigo gives me, and I love him so dearly. I am lucky and grateful that he is so forgiving.

How to Build Trust FAST

The photo below shows Amigo 3 days after he arrived. His eyes were still hurting and he didn’t trust me to touch him so I could not yet groom him or remove the burrs in his forlock. But he was willing to be with me. The grooming had to wait.

To build trust FAST with horses and humans, keep this in mind:

  • Frequent, brief, consistent interactions build trustworthiness

  • Adjust to where they are EVERY time. Respect boundaries.

  • Stop at a success point when there is still energy in the tank. Leave them wanting more.

  • Trust them and your intuition. Follow your gut, share your point of view.

DON’T RUSH!

When they come to you because they find value in your company-not a gimmick or bribe-you know you have succeeded.

The Dentist Visit

Amigo got a chiropractic adjustment and his teeth floated/fixed today! Since he is slightly sedated for the dental work, I took the opportunity to groom him top to toe! He positively shines!!! He will gain weight faster now that it doesn't hurt to chew.

Dr. Mark said Amigo is overall in very good health- no significant traumas or conditions. We are on our way to his good health.

It is so rewarding to see him flourish.

From Ace to Amigo

Shortly after Ace arrived, I changed his name to Amigo to reflect his sweet, collaborative nature and foretell our future together.

Amigo’s health and socialization is progressing at an astonishing rate. Within days of arriving, he was running to the gate when he saw me coming. He has figured out that carrots are delicious. He is still cautious and independent, but with a few small bribes of granola bars he follows me around his pasture and allows me to halter him.

Today I took Amigo on a tour of our 70- horse boarding facility. We went in and out of the barn. Doors were slamming, and there was horse and human traffic in the arena and on the trails. Amigo took all this in with incredible aplomb. He was sensitive, alert, and careful, but not spooky or afraid. He carries himself like a king while showing the softest manners and sweetness. Never even a pull on his lead rope. This guy is a gem.

On top of that, Amigo is getting more beautiful by the day. He is filling out beautifully and his eyes have healed. The chiropractor dentist, and farrier are coming in the next few weeks. His winter coat is growing in beautifully, and I will begin grooming him soon. From there we will start exercising to build back some muscle and see more of what training he has had.

I continue to count my many blessings, including my incredible luck at finding this amazing horse.       

Amazing GrAce

Today Ace would have been sent to slaughter.

When I met Ace November 8, he had injuries in both eyes. They were running, and he could barely open one. He was gaunt and dirty. Yet he turned toward me with softness and curiosity. He gave me all four feet at the gentlest touch, and did everything I asked. At one time he was loved and well trained. I cried.

His size and style did not match my criteria for what I thought I wanted, but I knew he was the one.

I handed over the check and arranged to trailer him home. It was one of the most integrated decisions I had ever made. My head, heart, and core were completely aligned.

He got on the trailer with complete composure, and walked with me to the quarantine pasture with softness, connection and dignity.

We gave him food, water, and medicine. He ran like a gazelle when he saw other horses in the distance. This gaunt, sick, dirty horse with pain in both eyes was so happy to simply be there he ran with joy.

He didn't know what carrots and apples were.

Ace is healing, looking better every day. He loves granola bars, and will eat them out of my hand gently, but the sight of a rope or halter sends him running. His freedom is precious to him, and humans have not been kind. Building trust is Job 1.

And so our journey begins.....

If you or anyone you know are looking for a horse, please consider checking the Southern Wisconsin Second Chance Lot or any rescue with a qualified trainer who can help you identify the "Aces in the rough".

Welcome Ace

If we are lucky in life sometimes we get an Ace!

Welcome Home beautiful Ace.

I found Ace with the help of a very qualified trainer friend. He was at Southern Wisconsin Second Chance Lot. It is a for-profit "clearing house" allowing people to buy horses before they are sent to slaughter. https://www.swschorses.com/. View the horses available at their Facebook site.

Thank you to Dr. Mark, Kenz Treffert, Barb Gardner, Jen Manix, Steve Warner, Nancy L White, Signe Johnson, and all who helped me save Ace, and bring him home safe and sound today. Every dream I have ever had has come true.