When working with horses, many people use food treats to catch them in the pasture and reward correct behavior. Like people, when the horse’s behavior is incentivized their responses don’t reflect the real connection. The real level of connection is evident when there is no incentive except gratitude. I am embarrassed to admit that when I first got my horse Echo, he would take his treat and run away from me. It was a stark and painful message about my leadership. Thus began my journey to learn how to lead with clarity, connection and courage. The first time Echo left his herd to come to me with no treat involved was a watershed moment. To this day how we begin every interaction is a barometer of our relationship.
Many relationships in our game of life, such as employment and sales, are built on behavior incentives. Some people would argue every relationship has some of this dynamic. It is easy to be seduced by the illusion of authentic connection with those very good at this game. Relationship connections can often be FAR--Fake Appearing Real. It takes clear-eyed discernment to recognize the reasons for other’s behavior towards us. Real character, generosity, integrity and kindness shows in our behavior when there is “nothing in it” for us.
If incentives were off the table, who would you follow, and who would follow you? Are your leadership connections FAR or near?
