Horses-and humans-respond best when we first “meet them where they are” without bias, and then build relationship via synchronized and interchangeable use of
· Brain clarity providing communication, purpose, training, and information
· Heart connection, warmth, and empathy
· Core courage and confidence to set boundaries and establish momentum
Perceptions about a horse’s size, beauty, color, gender, and more affect our entire experiences with them, whether it is the first time we have seen a live horse, or we are an experienced equestrian. Because horses provide experiential, objective, non-judgmental, real-time, and completely honest feedback, they build our self-awareness and teach us behavior to recognize and release unconscious biases that get in the way of authentic relationship.
Making our unconscious biases conscious is the first step, and horses are very good at this. We learn to read and respond in the moment to build relationship. It takes patience, intuition, knowledge, and powerful discernment to accurately read and work effectively with any horse. Time and practice help, but self-awareness and positive intention are required to even begin the dance of relationship.
With humans it is much the same. Our experience colors our judgement and perception. Studies show that attractive people get more attention and breaks in life, and well-dressed people get better service. Some people have treated me like a “typical (emotional) woman”, a “blond”, a “new horse owner”, a “married woman”, a “customer”, and so on.
Discerning and navigating our own and other people’s biases and projections are required for relationship. Add to that the fact that our heart telegraphs our emotions to other hearts beyond language, and you realize the power of emotions combined with the brainpower of discernment, perception, and language, and the “gut instinct” we all have at our core, and you have a plethora of data to inform and navigate every interaction.
To find and let go of our biases, and lead with authentic clarity, connection, and courage, takes unflinching honesty, self-compassion, and humility.
How do you make your unconscious biases conscious, and what do you do about it?
