It happens in an instant- a seemingly innocuous remark or conversation can cause an explosive reaction. With horses, a rustle in the bushes on the trail, or an umbrella opening in the arena can cause them to spook-run for thier life. In humans, a simple phrase or gesture turns a relaxing conversation in to an emotional confrontation. Has this ever happened to you?
Whenever someone’s emotion is higher than the situation would suggest, we have hit a trigger- a projection of a past issue on the current situation. Wise people are able to stay calm and navigate the situation effectively.
When you hit a trigger that causes strong emotion, such as anger, in someone, consider the following approach:
1. Set a boundary without defensiveness or judgement.
2. Tell them the effect they are having with strength and respect
3. Invite them to ask for what they need and focus on solutions.
Example:
1. Please lower your voice.
2. You are negatively affecting the people around us and I don’t want to do that.
3. Just tell me what you need.
All of us have triggers, and we are responsible for deconstructing them. The fewer triggers we have, the easier life is. Relationships require we navigate triggers with compassion and respect.
What are your triggers, and how can you manage them more effectively?
