My horse Echo and his friends instantly know the difference between a trainer with all the right moves and a beginner with a sincere desire to connect. From the outside, it can look like the trainer has the “horse connection”, but when the show stops, Echo and his equine friends seek out the person that loves them.
I worked with a leader who was bright, funny, charismatic, and incredibly easy to talk with. He easily attracted people, got lots of attention and feedback, and openly shared personal information. While he was very popular and often helpful, over time his team realized that his leadership was about him. Beyond light social conversation, he didn’t show personal interest in his team and never reached out to anyone unless he had something to gain. All of his relationships were strictly on his terms.
Thanks to Echo, this leader learned how it felt to share and reciprocate care, sincerity, and loyalty, and the difference between obedience and connection. As a result his leadership became truly authentic and exponentially more effective.
Sometimes a person with outstanding interpersonal skills and brilliant marketing can masquerade for a while as having heart connection, but eventually they are recognized as connection imposters. In leadership and in life, real connection is not outstanding social skills, extroversion, or charisma. Connection shows up in mutual respect, honesty, empathy, and shared time and attention.
Which connections are real for you?
